CHECK MY SECRET the Blog

To Be or Not To Be. Or Maybe, To Be Something Different

2009-01-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I was always the good little church girl. Now I am older and don't know what I believe in. I don't know how I could have this loss of faith. It used to be so strong. Now I am with a Muslim man that I love a lot, and he keeps mentioning me converting... it hurts me that he would even ask me to make that big of a step for him. And I don't know what to do. I am so confused about this whole God thing...
Author: Female 19

This secret has stuck out in my mind since the first time I read it. As a person that is strong in my own religion and a big advocate of happiness by choices, I believe all people should have the choice to decide their religion, live it, and live it fully. This comment brings up many feelings for me.

First, her lost faith in what she felt used to be so strong. It seems sad. She seems to be mourning who she used to be and the faith she used to have.

Second, she seems upset that her boyfriend is asking her to change her religion. This gives me mixed feelings. I am sad that her boyfriend wants her to change. However I feel hope for her because she feels loss at thinking of changing. To me that says she still feels she could get back into the faith she felt so strongly.

I was also interested in the comments that were left for this secret. So many people advised her one way or the other. Choose this way or choose that way. Many people were quick to judge. Not only judging her, but judging the boyfriend she mentions, and judging both of the religions she is considering. And even judging each other.

Yet, there are others. There are those that told her to investigate, to learn, to take time to think about it, and then to choose which felt better for her. There were people that offered websites and books to help her to learn. There are so many that encourage her to stay who she is and not change for another person, but to change only if she felt it would make her a better person and bring her closer to the God she chose to believe in. Those are the people that give hope. Those are the people that bring kindness. Those are the people that make our world a better place.

“I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands -- this is not optional -- my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.”
Jimmy Carter

Equality

2009-01-11T08:03:00.000-08:00

I know women in the past have worked really hard to make the women of today equal to men, and all our rights, etc. & I have tons of respect for them.

But I'd really rather just get married and be a housewife for the rest of my life.
Author: Female 18

Who decides what is equal in today's world? Who decides what goes and what doesn't? Who decides what is okay and what isn't?

If a man and woman are worth equally as much to a company, why is the average salary of a woman less than the average salary of a man? If a man and a woman are equally as beneficial as the child rearing parent, why is it assumed that it is the mother? Why is the standard to have a male doctor or dentist, and female assistants, nurses, and techs? Is a person with lots of modern book knowledge but not much experience equal to a person with many many years of experience but no modern book knowledge?

Now with that in mind, should everything be equal? What about the natural differences between men and women, young and old, and our natural strength and weaknesses? Shouldn't we focus and encourage ones stronger points, while not being so demanding or the weaker points?

In a world that proves time and time again that life is not fair, do we have a right to demand equality in all things?

Then again, thanks to Newton, we know that everything has an equal and an opposite.

The worst for of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.
Aristotle

Speak Your Mind

2009-01-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

Obama makes me sick. I think he should stop being idolized. It disgusts me how many people voted for him because he was black, and not for his issues! I'm against ALMOST everything he stands for! Where is everyone's morals?!

...but secretly, I also hope Obama ends up being a great president and saves our Country. Secretly, I hope he's everything America needs, and I pray to God. . .

Author: Female 16
Abridged Secret

Several things stood out to me when I read this secret. It made me stop and think. I'd like share some of those thoughts with you.

The first thing is the feeling behind her words. She is passionate about what she is saying. She feels it strongly and is speaking her mind. If we could all be so passionate.

The second is her message. Too often, people simply go with the flow or follow the crowd. This young woman is breaking away from the crowd to analyze and decide her own opinion. She is questioning what she sees, to make up her own mind. If we could all be so conclusive.

The third is her hope. Although she does not like what is happening, although she does not agree with it, she has hope for the future. She sees the potential, the better good that can come from a situation. If we could all be so positive.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."
Albert Einstein

Childlike At It's Best

2008-12-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I like to stand in the shower with my clothes on and pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit.
Author: Male 21

Sometimes, we are all like children. Who says that growing up means we can't have childlike enjoyment. To run and play, just for the fun of it. To drink apple juice, just to enjoy it. To stray from work, once in a while, just to go out and be free.

Remember when you were a kid? Did you ever want to be a bird so you could fly? Did you ever dream of growing up to be a super hero so you could save people? Did you go to the zoo, and look at all the cheetas and tigers?

I do. And I miss those days. The ones where the biggest concern was deciding what kind of jam to have with my peanut butter. The ones where fighting with a sibling simply meant who got to pick the movie we watched. The ones where laughing and joking and smiling were a minute to minute thing.

Not all children live happy and easy lives. But all children have imagination and a natural understanding and the hope that all people are good. Coming into this new year, I want to be more childlike. I want to enjoy more, judge less, and laugh often.

You can be childlike without being childish.
Christopher Meloni

Move On

2008-12-22T08:45:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid that I'm holding you back. I'm also afraid that you might be holding me back as well. So, maybe it's for the best.

It'll be hard, but I think I can manage without you.
Author: Female 19

Each life is a session of phases. Moving from one to another, many at a time, beginnings and endings blurring together. Some easy to see, some not seen until much time has passed. Some by choice and others as unwanted as ever possible.

Life phases help us to grow. To see inside ourselves. To mold and bend and create our character like any other teacher never can. A life phase can be the most painful and difficult lesson ever taught, and at the same time be the most soul searching and progressive period in our life time. Some people have come out of a trial being stronger and more self empowering than they ever thought possible for themselves.

The line between different phases of life are sometimes blurry, and sometimes they are as crystal clear as making a choice. The hardest part of entering a new life phase can be the choice itself, and then all pieces fall into place. When is the right time to hold on? When is it better to stay in a particular life phase, rather than moving on to the next one? Is it human nature to want to stay in the same safe and secure place, or to move in the way way of progression? When is it time to make the decision and move into the next phase of life?

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted:
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Bible, Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4

"Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season)"
The Byrds, 1965

Change The World

2008-12-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

Everyone wants to make a difference. Everyone wants to be noticed. Everyone wants to see the world become a better place.

As humans, we are the most powerful race. We can destroy or save our planet, we can destroy or save other creatures, and we can destroy or save other humans. So why are we sometimes afraid to make use of, or even admit that we have, such a divine and motivating power?

I'm leaving in October to volunteer all over the world. I WILL change the world but I fear I sound too lofty saying this out loud.

Author: Female 22

This person is strong. And they have a vision to change the world, to make it a better place. They offer encouragement and motivation simply by stating out loud that they are going to make a difference. Whether they are going to save a rainforest, feed hungry children, or boost moral, they are going to make a difference. Their positive attitude and determination has been enough to inspire people, as can be seen by the comments that are left.

What will you do? What would be your dream to change the world? If you could do anything, regardless of cost, location, or how big or small, how would you change the world?

"To the world, you may be one person. But to one person, you may be the world."
Author: Unknown

Welcome to our Blog

2008-12-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

Secrets are funny things. They are often at the core of our thoughts and feelings. In a lot of ways, they define who we are. Everyone has secrets but for various reasons people feel that they are better off keeping these secrets to themselves. Some secrets have so much personal significance that not telling anyone can really weigh heavily on a person's conscious. Even worse, since secrets are often held privately, people naturally think that they are alone with these personal thoughts and that no one else could ever understand or relate to what's going on in their heads.

http://www.CheckMySecret.com was created in order to give people a 100% anonymous forum in which to share their innermost secrets and hopefully gain some peace of mind and perhaps even some helpful advice. Visitors of the site are able to read these anonymous secrets, rate them and provide any comments they think will may help the original poster.

What has amazed me most about the site so far is that for almost every secret posted there tends to be at least one person who comments "me too!" or "I feel like you just read my mind!!". There is nothing better than seeing comments like these. Suddenly people realize that their secret is not so uncommon and they no longer feel as isolated, alone and misunderstood.

CheckMysecret has been so successful in such a short amount of time, we feel the addition of an official blog is a logical next step. Every week, we will write a little bit of commentary about one of the most interesting secrets posted on the site as well as the comments it received. In addition this blog will serve as a way to communicate with members of the checkmysecret community where we will tell you about new features on the site and hopefully receive a little bit of feedback as well. So sit back and enjoy. We hope you enjoy this new feature of CheckMySecret.com